This is not a blog.

René Margritte was a French painter who created                "The Treachery of Images". It is simply a picture of a pipe with a French inscription that reads     "This is not a pipe."
His work culminated to the simplest of images because it became countless talk of introspection and what it meant to claim reality. This representative reality confused many people and he went on to create many images similar to this.

In much the same way, I propose my own introspective gesture.

This is not a blog.

Yes, it may look like a blog and I am certainly having to type all this stuff out sitting on my computer in the library, but this reality is clouding what you will really find on my small little subsection of the world wide web.

I can only claim this "thing" you are reading as an outpouring of God's infinite wisdom and grace and steadfast love for all of us. To put God into the containment and limit His unending presence in our lives to my blog (yeah yeah okay its my blog) would be a gross mistake and a depressing look into our reality.
"Oh God, you are my God; earnestly I seek You; my should thirsts for You; my flesh faints for You, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water. So I have looked upon You in the sanctuary, beholding Your power and glory. Because Your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise You," Psalm 63:1-3.
We live in that dry and weary land, He is our water. Eternal water, I will give you living water and you will thirst no more He told the woman at the well. Come, follow me He says countless times.

He loves us so perfectly that He would die for us on the cross and cleanse us of all of our transgressions both past and future. But He also loves us so much that He conquered death so that He could live for us, a permanent fixture in our lives. The Holy Spirit lives within us and we become more than conquerors.

"Yeah He loves us, oh how He loves us, oh how He loves, oh how He loves," David Crowder.
This simple fact should resonate to the very core of our being. We are nothing, yet He gave us everything.

Thank you God for Your sacrifice, let me be a living sacrifice in Your name.

"Then Jesus said to His disciples, 'If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me,'" Matthew 16:24.

The joy in faliure

Yeah, you read the title right.
Two outs, bottom of the ninth inning and of course I'm the one that is up to bat (the whole time I'm sitting in the dugout hoping another person on my team will just strike out and save me the embarrassment) I'm not a good hitter, or at least my bat has developed a special chemical makeup to repel baseballs when pitched at speeds of more than 15 mph or anytime during a game. Walking up to the plate is a lot like swimming underwater, you cant breathe and everything sounds muffled. Step into the batters box, no doubt a look of sheer terror plastered on my face for the pitcher to see. "We've already won this game/look at that dweeber on the plate/ I wonder if mom has any bagel bites left at the house," the pitcher thinks many things, none of which are concern for losing or me succeeding in any possible way. The smug pre-teen with  the ball winds up-- slow mo starts.
The perfect pitch barrels down the pipe and my eyes see nothing but glory. My bat starts a swing and I flex more muscles than I probably have to hit this ball, everything in my life has come down to this one moment..."Hit it! Hit it!" they say, "We need this to win the game!" they remind me at literally the least opportune time....
I missed. The ball pounds the back of the catcher's glove as more fear settles into the back of my mind. "What if we lose? This was all because of me. I'm such a loser." the thoughts run over and over in my head until the last pitch is thrown. I of course miss again and the game is over.

We lose.
But its more than just a "we", this loss was all on me. Everything leading up to my batting meant nothing and I single handedly destroyed this game. I am crushed and start to do what any other respectable boy in my position would--cry. Yeah yeah, it's funny when I think about it now but then, the weight of the whole team and my parents/friends/anyoneelsewhocame was on my back....I crumpled slowly together as a wad of paper ready to be thrown away.

"But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in your weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 2 Corinthians 12:9
Where was this when I was ready to implode from the weight of the world? Who cares if I lose a city league baseball game, it wasn't even the playoffs. Without failures, we would never see or have the successes. Without disappointment, there could be no joy! Its hard to see these things as a child but growing up has taught me more and more to trust in what the Lord has promised us (peace, eternal life, grace to name a few) and to forget the constant worry the world wants to burden us with.
"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalms 73:26
Be joyful and be content with failure because whether we like it or not, they will happen. I can't say I was happy about losing those games but it has helped me to see that every little thing doesn't have to consume you with worry and fear and grief. If we can learn to take each day a step at a time and pray to God for an all consuming peace then rec baseball will never be the same.

--Peace be with ya.

Constance machine

"O Lord, I call to You; come quickly to me. Hear my voice when I call to You" Psalms 141:1. Do you ever feel there's no one to save you? There isn't refuge and no way to make it to the end safely? 

"Jump! Jump!"
 This is way higher than it looked from the ground. I stand precariously perched upon a rock face 70 feet above the safe trenches of water below.
"C'mon, you're already up there now" the world pushes me closer to the edge. There is a strong but silent power that water holds. Floating in it you might not see it, but from 70 feet in the air you can't miss it. The security and constance that water holds is a point of refuge for some, but at this moment....well it's freaking me out.
"Are you sure I won't get hurt?" I yell with all semblance of pride gone now. Alright, just do it! Those people down there (way down there) (way way way)...what was I saying?
AAAHHHHHHHH! A push from behind takes me fast and by surprise. My heightened senses feel the wind as I travel through the air around 12 hours (give or take). BOOM. Yeah, I hit the water feet first somehow.
Underwater, don't breathe...feel the current, it takes all nerve and fear from me. "On Christ the solid rock I stand all other ground is sinking sand"...all other ground is 70 feet away now.
When the world tries to scare you into submission and shove you towards the deeds of the sinner, it may seem like the natural thing to do at first. Sure, I'll jump; everyone else is doing it. But we know the wages of the sinner is death but the gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus. We make mistakes, we jump off cliffs we shouldn't have to face, but God is constant. He will catch you when you fall, He is our refuge and when we call on Him, He will provide.
"I cry aloud to the Lord, I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy," Psalm 142:1. 
We can stumble through life and make it to the "unbeatable" hurdles life throws at us. There is a choice to be made: seek out the Lord, make His presence and peace a part of your life, or say how high when the world says jump...hopefully there is some water around.

waiting for patience

Wake up. It's dark outside, first problem right there. Get dressed take shower, other things you can do robotically by now. We make it to the lake and it hasn't hit 7 yet. The water begins to lighten as the sun peeks it head out from under its Earthly covers (I bet he doesn't get cold at night). We step into our boat and check the supplies: old rods, check, dirty worms, check, hopeful and excited attitudes, oh yeah!

The boat casts off for a morning of fishing and all around adventure, all the while my 8 year old body is brimming with unreal expectations and energy. The waiting game begins.

Cast. Reel. Reel. Reel. Repeat.

...30 minutes in, a bite! REEL REEL REEL REEL. "Taylor you cant reel the line that fast, the hook slips his lip." My dad says in infinite knowledge, opportunity wasted. With the grand total of 2 bites for the day and a small fish I couldn't tell you the name of I can say three things confidently.

1. I am not a fisherman nor will I ever willingly go back to play that dreadful waiting game.

2. No one should be allowed to get up before the sun does, that's just common courtesy. 

3. God has way more patience than me.

I get nothing but a nibble for one day and I want to throw in the towel, there is no part of me that will willingly test my patience in fishing again, but God can somehow watch as the beauty of the world He created Himself fall into sin and slowly perish. Why? How?

From the point of conception, Man has turned from God and sinned in an all but constant fashion. But God is a God OF patience, not a God who merely has patience. How else could He see us fail Him on a daily basis yet show us the unconditional love we never deserve. "But You, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness," Psalm 86:15. He sees the fish I search for and frustrate over, he sees my sin my struggles, all of the empty things I grow angry over and what does He do. HE loves us. 

What's so beautiful about the situation is that for Him it isn't even a choice. He created us out of love therefore as long as we exist He will do nothing but love us, DESPITE the mistakes we have made, are making, and will continue to make as we live in this world.

"Since God chose you to be the holy peoples He loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Make allowance for each other's faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others." Colossians 3:12-13.

If only the last line was true, where would we be today? Something to think about.