road rage

Driving down the interstate, stuck in Atlanta traffic you get frustrated. Bumper to bumper, the CO2 starts to mess with your head. Why are all these people in my way, don't they know how important I am, I have places to be and people to see...but then you look around.

Green minivan has four kids in the back with no dad to be found.
White Lexus is talking his ear off vehemently towards who knows who, probably the president himself.
18-wheeler has at least 400 tons of timber in his trunk and those trees aren't getting any younger.

Bottom line is, you are one person. ONE. There is nothing more humbling than to understand how little you matter in this world. When there are 6.794 billion people on this planet and around 370,000 babies being born every day it's hard to justify road rage.
To others, we mean nothing. To us, we mean everything...why don't they slow down for me? I matter the most. 1 Peter  5:6 "Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time He may exalt you," 
We are nothing and will never be anything to almost all of the world. If you met 1 million people in your entire lifetime (and that is pushing it (big time)) you would have possibly influenced way less than .1% of the population.

How can we ever impact a world that is ever increasing and less caring than ever before?
We can't.
...at least that's what most people would say. But, as Christians we have the ultimate tool for impacting lives and showing others how to live for Christ.
It's love, people!
"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." Ephesians 4:2
What? That can't be right, if I am humble and gentle people on that interstate will run over me, no one will ever hear me and I have no possible chance at making an impact on this loud and sinful planet...
Yes, our world is full of liars, cheaters and backstabbers, what better way to be heard then to shine the  love of God and be the contrast for their life. Your light is shining so brightly they have no choice but to turn and look at you and therefore Christ. We are called to spread the love of Christ Jesus that is within us, it really is that simple.

Love simply.

 Peter 4:8

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

stop trying

Where do you see yourself in five years?

Oh that's easy, I'll graduate college a semester early with my boyfriend who then will propose and we will get married. After that, we will move to a big city and get jobs we love together having free time and money to take spontaneous trips on the weekend and get our yearly missional trip out of the way during the summer, maybe Uganda or something....
"Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit"--yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, "If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that." As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil," James 4:13-16. 

What then, do we do? We could sit around binging on Netflix and professional sports putting our efforts into things that matter very little in this fast paced society we have been shoved into. There's probably a special on cheese balls at the grocery store, a coupon for a free scuba diving lesson somewhere on the internet, or even a new recipe to try out...but these things mean nothing without God. Am I saying God is in the cheese balls? Yes, absolutely but thats not the point that's being made here.
We, as a culture, have to stop planning our lives putting an unrealistic amount of tension and stress on our lives and future when all we are is mist. God says that we live in arrogance if we believe we can predict the plans the Lord has for us. Have faith, His plans are good and prosperous...why wouldn't we take all of these gifts He layed out for us so perfectly. The cookie cutter life you so lustfully crave can exist, but at what cost to your soul?

Let go these earthly prides you call your future. Let God take our broken bodies and become anew through His spirit. Take the eyes full of sin we have and transform them into portals for Your vision, making all things we do directed towards Your glory and Your presence in our lives.
"Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he," 
Proverbs 29:18.

This is not a blog.

René Margritte was a French painter who created                "The Treachery of Images". It is simply a picture of a pipe with a French inscription that reads     "This is not a pipe."
His work culminated to the simplest of images because it became countless talk of introspection and what it meant to claim reality. This representative reality confused many people and he went on to create many images similar to this.

In much the same way, I propose my own introspective gesture.

This is not a blog.

Yes, it may look like a blog and I am certainly having to type all this stuff out sitting on my computer in the library, but this reality is clouding what you will really find on my small little subsection of the world wide web.

I can only claim this "thing" you are reading as an outpouring of God's infinite wisdom and grace and steadfast love for all of us. To put God into the containment and limit His unending presence in our lives to my blog (yeah yeah okay its my blog) would be a gross mistake and a depressing look into our reality.
"Oh God, you are my God; earnestly I seek You; my should thirsts for You; my flesh faints for You, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water. So I have looked upon You in the sanctuary, beholding Your power and glory. Because Your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise You," Psalm 63:1-3.
We live in that dry and weary land, He is our water. Eternal water, I will give you living water and you will thirst no more He told the woman at the well. Come, follow me He says countless times.

He loves us so perfectly that He would die for us on the cross and cleanse us of all of our transgressions both past and future. But He also loves us so much that He conquered death so that He could live for us, a permanent fixture in our lives. The Holy Spirit lives within us and we become more than conquerors.

"Yeah He loves us, oh how He loves us, oh how He loves, oh how He loves," David Crowder.
This simple fact should resonate to the very core of our being. We are nothing, yet He gave us everything.

Thank you God for Your sacrifice, let me be a living sacrifice in Your name.

"Then Jesus said to His disciples, 'If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me,'" Matthew 16:24.

you are home

What is loss? A commitment relinquished, a story that's been told, a moment when you realize you won't see someone ever again...
Life has little meaning on it's own, its the relationships you build and the love that is shared that make all of this evil sin filled world meaningful.

"For God has not destined us for wrath, but to obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ, who died for us so that whether we are awake or asleep we might live with him. Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing." 1 Thess. 5:9-11. 

On days such as today, we reflect on lives lost. Men and women who have carried on past this world in search of paradise through Christ. I pray for the families of the lives that were taken on 9/11 and any other time, because when is death ever greeted, much less expected.
But we should find strength in those that leave us to be with God because they have reached a place much more incredible than this place we try to call home. 2 Corinthians says: "So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, for we walk by faith, not by sight. Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord."
So you see, Earth is not our home. We long for our Lord as the Sun longs for the breaking of a new day. So don't be discouraged by the death that looms around us, take heart! Our Lord is a mighty defender and a strong deliverer. He is our strength when we are weak, our All in All.

I personally want to say that I am sad for the losses that have incurred on this day, but I rejoice in the fact that the Lord's children are on their way home. I'll miss you Mamaw.

1 Corinthians 15:54-57 When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written: “Death is swallowed up in victory.” “O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?” The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

in His eyes

"Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the Lord and turn away from evil." Proverbs 3:7. 
In many ways, evil can be present in your life. Sometimes it is found in things you would expect. Don't drink that, don't smoke that, no looking over there, shouldn't be hanging out with that person etc etc. But sometimes evil can be found in much more persistent and scary places such as your own mind. Sin is defined by some people as the the absence of God: this can definitely be applied here. 

8:30 Wake up, Shower. 
9:00 Frantic breakfast, scurry to work.
12:00 Lunch, alone.
3:30 Find coworkers to ease the pain of boredom at office.
5:30 Head home tired, ready for dinner.
7:00 Settle for box dinner, sit at television.
10:30 Wake up and head to bed in preparation to start another day the same.

What is wrong with this picture? At what point did this person break from the tedium of this world and find his comfort, his joy, his security from the one person willing and able to love us unconditionally with no restraint? 
"But by His doing you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification, and redemption." 1 Corinthians 1:30. 
We are so much more than ourselves when we give our lives to Christ, we are more than conquerers and burning with the passion of a never-ending God. We need God daily to replenish our reserves, to flush out the sin and poison that this world fills us with constantly. Without Him, we crumble and fade. 

When you wake up you will most likely make the decision to brush your teeth, but if you don't then missing a day isn't a huge deal. Miss another day and you'd be fine. Miss a week, then two? Most likely you will be receiving a firm slap on your wrist from your dentist and another appointment because now you have cavities or worse. Keep up this habit and before you know it you are gumming soft foods and chugging nutritious milkshakes because your teeth are gone now. 
Basically, not giving God some time out of your day will make your teeth fall out...Okay that's not true, but without Him you will surely crumble and fall. His wisdom is greater than anything we could hope to accomplish on our own. 
So next time you don't brush your teeth, just remember how God would feel about that.

Wax on, wax off

Wax on, wax off. Wax on, wax off. The drone of every day life can sometimes muddle our true purposes. Daniel Larusso can't seem to grasp his mentor's (Mister Miagi) odd approach to training him in the highly skilled form of martial arts. He participates in activities such as cleaning his car, doing the dishes and sweeping the floors. It is a point of irritation for our protagonist, but by the karate tournament something magical happens. All of the menial tasks that he thought served no purpose actually were training him for the large goal at the end: to win the tournament. (I'm sorry if you've never seen this movie but he wins the tournament and gets the girl, classic)

There seemed to be a time when I could think with confidence that I understand this world, that the things I see all work together for my own personal good...In other words, I was naive. God sees and knows every facet of our lives. There are tasks we complete drudgingly every day that seem to have no purpose or meaning...Why would balancing my checkbook further God's glory? What does good grades have to do with His eternal love for us?
What most people can't see is that EVERYTHING we do affects His kingdom and His glory. My friend has a sign right under her front door that says, "Your are now entering the mission field" and this should ring true with everyone. All the people we see are influenced by us in some unforeseen way.

He has mighty plans for us, "Plans to prosper and not destroy, plans to give us a hope and a future" Jeremiah 29:11. With that in mind we should be living on easy street right?
Well, no. This is a cruel world full of fallible people. Life is hard and living out your faith is even harder. But we can take courage in this: "For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world--our faith,"John 5:4. 

But we are all born from God not of Him...until something awesome happens. We die to ourselves and become more than we could ever be alone. "You however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you,"Romans 8:9.

Anyways, I don't know where I was really going with this but there are two points you should take from this post:

1.God works in mysterious ways but we should learn to trust His path for our lives (even if it should seem meaningless at times) and carry ourselves as if we are accomplishing the greatest task in the world.(Because we are, people!)

2.We are not enough to fulfill God's plans here on Earth. Without the Holy Spirit we would surely fail (I fail every day as it is). So take heart how incredible you are (or could be) with the unlimited potential of God's love and power sitting right inside of you every day waiting to fulfill what God has in store for us.

I'll stop there because this was a jumble of different idea trains, but I will leave you with this.

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, Ephesians 3:20

Interruptible

The five-year plan. The perfect world where you graduate college, find a wife, step into an awesome job generator and get immediately put where you will live happily your entire life. This is what society feeds us. The entitlement our generation faces comes from the individualistic culture we have thrived under this far in our short little lives. There is no room for error, and if you don't know what you are going to be doing for the next 30 years at this exact moment--well you're screwed.
And He said to them,"Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men." Immediately they left their nets and followed Him." Matthew 4:19-20.
This would not happen today: "Yeah, what kind of benefit packages are we talking about? Will I have to travel a lot? But y'all don't even have an office near the neighborhood I want to live, that would be a crazy commute...you should see their pool"
The disciples left everything behind. Their jobs, their security, their friends, their money; their lives. We are so self absorbed that many times God becomes the afterthought to our plans, hoping that He can squeeze His way in somewhere in there.
It's been really heavy on my heart these last few weeks that we, as Christians, need to be more interruptible. There are people with needs everywhere and all around us. Most of the time these needs are not recognized because no one will slow down to acknowledge them (sure makes it easier to disregard them when you don't have to see them).
Maybe God isn't calling you to teach English in Japan to impoverished children, but your neighbor down the street has found out they have a tumor on their spine and needs someone to do their yard work every month or so....or maybe it was a broken leg, no no it was a shark attack...You'll never know unless you open yourself up to the needs of others and become more perceptive to what God is calling you to do. Before I made you in your mother's womb, I chose you. Before you were born, I set you apart for a special work. Jeremiah 1:5
Be inspired. Listen to what He is telling you! Are you going to cram 20 hours into a Summer semester at school? Why not intern at a church for the summer instead. Thinking about going into graduate school? What's wrong with taking a year off to work in a mission in Africa educating the men to be better farmers...There are so many needs in this world and God uses us to further show His love.
It's the little things: paying for someone's lunch at another table, not getting that crazy cool watch and putting it towards a donation fund, even giving someone a ride to work. This is how love works, the more you give the more you receive: maybe not even from the other party but in ways you could never imagine until you take a chance, change a life, be who God has made you to be!

Slow down, listen. What is God saying?
Listen
Listen
And a great and strong wind was rending the mountains and breaking in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of a gentle blowing. When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood in the entrance of the cave. And behold, a voice came to him" 1Kings 19:11-13

Worship: its what's for lunch

Doing yard work, hot and sweaty. You feel at least 5 pounds of sweat at any give moment escaping from your body. Burned to a crisp, you think there is nothing worse than this, but it's quite the opposite. Nothing could glorify God more! "Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honor and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created." Rev. 4:11. Because He created all things, in all things we can glorify Him: meaning we can worship God at all times through all things.

We have been called to worship God and we are a people that love to worship. In our every day lives you find things to worship and devote your time to, I know recently the Zimmerman trial got an absurd amount of media coverage and people could not get enough of the trial and its proceedings...this is an example of worship. If you've ever seen a video of fans during a Michael Jackson concert, they are jumping yelling, doing things they would never do in the "real world" passing out and fantasizing about Him in an unnatural way. That is worship. Even down to college football, putting so much into every week, knowing players and the amount of passion displayed at every game--worship.

So you see, we worship whether or not God is involved at all. "The Lord said,'These people claim to worship me, but their words are meaningless, and their hearts are somewhere else. Their religion is nothing but human rules and traditions, which they have simply memorized,'" Isaiah 29:13. 

We worship God with our words, our hearts and our deeds. These are things that we use every day even (going back to my first point) when we're baking alive in the sun. This means we have the opportunity to worship God the Father in even the most random of times! He made us to worship and made us to cut grass, why not kill two birds with half a stone, am I right?

"So then, my friends, because of God's great mercy to us I appeal to you; Offer yourselves as a living sacrifice to God, dedicated to His service and pleasing to Him. THIS is the true worship that you should offer," Romans 12:1. 

We can offer ourselves up to God in every situation presented to us. We must be different than those of this world, a city on a hill burning brightly, the salt and the light. We have to distinguish ourselves so people can think, "What is it they have that I am missing?" 

What do we have, are we different? Does my life mean something more? 

The answer is YES and we should praise God for that! He formed us in our mother's womb to be special, full of an everlasting peace and joy--that's awesome. Sounds like a reason to celebrate! 

So what if you decide to celebrate while you're cutting the grass.

Find a reason

Prayer has many applications and God calls us to pray without ceasing. But how is that even possible?

Could I pray literally every minute of every day, would it completely consume my thoughts and actions to the point where I can't interact with the world as I used to without prayer running through my noggin? I know we can't text and drive anymore but prayers and driving might get a little hard for me to do.

The point is: prayer changes us. It is an open pathway for God to talk with us and we should be impassioned by the idea of being in God's presence constantly. 

Today at church, our pastor talked about Acts 12 when Peter was captured by the Romans and there are many things they do right in these passages that allude to how we should pray. 

Firstly, they are praying together. The people of Peter's church have seen a need and they understood that together they could accomplish more and be more in tune with God's Spirit.

Next, it says they were praying in earnest. And this is described as with a passionate longing. If we could seek God in earnest through our prayers as opposed to the sometimes mindless jargon we throw around, I believe we would see a substantial difference! I know personally, when I am decided upon to pray before a meal, I can easily spit out 10 seconds of babble that isn't meaningful or from the heart (taking it any longer than 10 seconds starts taking away from meal time (especially if you're leaned over your hot delicious food and your mouth has started watering)). We should take our time with God SO seriously. Imagine Him looking over you as you are praying, because He is in your presence as you pray. 

Finally, they don't pray for Peter out of perfect faith. What?? In verse 15 the party of believers says to the woman who answered the door, "'You're out of your mind,' they told her. When she kept insisting that it was so, they said, "It must be his angel.'" Keep in mind that they were praying the entire time that  this exact thing happen to Peter that they were now questioning directly. This is so huge because we don't pray perfectly as we are imperfect beings, but God and His plan is perfect for us. 

Therefore, our faith doesn't have to be perfect because our God is. 

In our failures, He is absolute. In our iniquities, He is light. In our doubting that what we need has been provided, He comes through anyways. Needless to say, they finally went to the door and saw Peter standing there. 

Our prayers don't have to be perfect, but they have to be there if we want God to help us. Today, let's be transformed by the renewal of our minds. Let's pray continually and find more reasons to be in the presence of the Almighty God. 

HE is our refuge and none can keep us from that.

for the love of water

Ah the beach. A list about things I love at the beach:
1. the relaxation that comes as a standard when you are there. Its not a vicious theme park where if you arent riding at least three coasters an hour there is a good chance your head will explode.
2. Not having to wear a shirt anywhere. Seriously, back home you cant even walk into Kroger without a shirt on and not get dirty looks...much less church. "No shirt, no shoes, no thank you" is what I always say.
3. Beach Volleyball. It doesnt get much better than this boys. What better way is there to meet new people in a non creepy way and have fun and get a workout AND build instant camaraderie.
4. the ocean, I know thats a big DUH but its just crazy fun to play in and let the waves overtake you. There's a real beauty to how grand and vast our ocean really is. Most people can't fully understand how little of it we've actually seen even with all the crazy technology we have. I'll put it this way, we have Mars more mapped out than the ocean. In fact, humans have only explored around 5 percent of the ocean! Its the last frontier on this planet....So what makes it so hard to explore and discover more of?
It's very inhospitable to us, first off. I can barely swim to the bottom of the deep end without my ears punching my head, screaming to swim back up.
35,853 feet....6.8 miles down, try swimming that!
Where am I going with all of this? That's a great question and I'm gonna figure it out as I type this.

God's love is somewhat like the ocean...At times it can seem overwhelming and it can almost be scary how much he loves us, but we know this--Just like the ocean, his love won't be going anywhere. His presence is constant in our lives and we can't do anything to get away. Sometimes you may feel far from that love but those are the times you have to take another trip to the beach and step back into His great love for us. "'Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,' says the Lord, who has compassion on you," Isaiah 54:10. 
It is unshaken and unfailing. Global warming or not, the ocean is always going to be there. Rise and fall as the tides sweep in, the current remains. God's love may be felt more at some times than others but we have to step back and evaluate where we are in our relationship with God. Are we trying to reach Him or are we waiting for our heavenly welfare check or weekly church visit to tide us over, through all of our difficult situations.
I'll let you in on a little secret: we can't do it alone. "So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him," Genesis 1:27. To say we can do without that which we were created from is like saying a watch can work without its batteries. A garden cannot work without its gardener and sheep cannot survive without their shepherd. He is our shepherd and all we do has been molded from His image. That encourages me because He is perfect and I want to know what that means. I am far from it and getting anywhere near that just gets me Excited! Anyways, this has started to get ranty so I'll nip this thing in the bud.

God=Ocean=Unfailing, Unchanging
He loves us and that's incredible.

One Day More

Watching the glorious and extravagant Les Miserables the show choir nerd and broadway enthusiast comes right out. With an outstanding cast from top to bottom (except maybe Russell Crowe(sorry bro, just a tad too much nasal for my palette) the scenes captivated audiences from beginning to end. A story of redemption and revolution weaves in many stories and lives one of which is Jean Valjean.This is him singing his glorious anthem right before the revolution begins at the end of Act I.


One day more!
Another day, another destiny.
This never-ending road to Calvary;
These men who seem to know my crime
Will surely come a second time.
One day more!

He beautifully captures here 2 things:
1. That the mistakes and failures we make today mean little to nothing on our long road to "Calvary" which for us as Christians is better called "Salvation". Many times people choose to look at salvation as a thing that is in one instance gained and for some people can in another be lost. I disagree. I best heard it described as a process. We strive and we battle daily towards building up our salvation and when we do not work on it, it is slowly torn apart. Therefore, we do not simply gain or lose our salvation which is a total relief because we are sinful. 
Our hearts and minds are plagued with sing and just grossness which keeps us from fully seeing God until after death on judgement day. But having Christ live in us makes us see the world differently and hopefully they will see us differently so we can be divided. "All men will hate you because of Me, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved." Matthew 10:22

This brings me to point 2. The men who seem to know my crime(That's the world). They will SURELY come a second time.
Oh yes they will, our world is full of sin and loves nothing more than to bring others down into sin with them.
"If I'm going to sin then I'll surely make sure everyone else is too"-Earth.
People will judge you and make sure you feel regret and shame for the crimes you have committed, even if it was to steal a loaf of bread for your starving family.
But God sees our sin and shame and has forgiven us....from everything! Alcohol, drugs, porn, loving money, cheating, lying, gossiping, even when you were speeding on the way to school because that 8am class waits for no one.
One day more. That is how we should take our salvation.
We make mistakes, OKAY so does everyone else...but we are different. Ask God for forgiveness and He will cleanse you of your sins like they never occurred. No need for shame guilt or fear. Just one day more is one day closer to eternal life through Christ Jesus. Another day, another destiny. We are forgiven, we are redeemed as Big Daddy Weave likes to put it.

Matthew 11:28-30 "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and My burden is light."

PS Just for good measure, here's the Les Mis song :) 

The birthday conundrum

SUPRISE!!!! Dude happy birthday! Hey man, happy birthday. Bro, ajaoesihgajeng;liajekjfbar;ljafgw.

The overwhelming anxiety involved in a birthday is sometimes a little too much. The obligation to respond to people you haven't talked to since about this time last year combined with the FB notifications (do you comment, like them, completely ignore them) can leave a person on a strange balance of flattered and exhausted. Where have all these people come from that magically now know my birthday or that I exist as a person...why would they choose to care on this one day when really the meaning of their supposed caring is caught under the formality of my mother giving birth X number of years ago?

Oftentimes, caring can seem dull or not meant with sincerity especially when it comes at a time that is ill chosen or unforeseen.

Choosing to care for someone is a struggle, it requires constant attention and you have to remain consistent in order to get your point across clearly. Sounds a lot like love, eh? Well that's a separate matter to be discussed on another day. We aren't talking about boyfriend/girlfriend path to marriage stuf here. It's simple, the best way to show you care is to be there. And nobody is there for us more than God. From creation, He has held us in the palm of His hands and nurtured us and done nothing but love us. "The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you or forsake you. Do not be afraid. Do not be discouraged" Deuteronomy 31:8 
Scratch that, God has looked after us and cared for us since before creation! His caring (and yes, love) is unprecedented and cannot be fathomed. That also fits onto my line of overwhelming and comforting. In addition to comforting and caring for us, He created us in such a way that we can do good works and be caring for other people. "He, who began a good work in you, will be faithful to complete it even unto to the day of Christ Jesus" Philippians 1:6. 
That's my goal: Christ Jesus, and we are provided a way to that. As we carry about our day and week, let's remember to care for others in a way that will bring them a joy unspeakable.

“Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain”. I Corinthians 15:58

The joy in faliure

Yeah, you read the title right.
Two outs, bottom of the ninth inning and of course I'm the one that is up to bat (the whole time I'm sitting in the dugout hoping another person on my team will just strike out and save me the embarrassment) I'm not a good hitter, or at least my bat has developed a special chemical makeup to repel baseballs when pitched at speeds of more than 15 mph or anytime during a game. Walking up to the plate is a lot like swimming underwater, you cant breathe and everything sounds muffled. Step into the batters box, no doubt a look of sheer terror plastered on my face for the pitcher to see. "We've already won this game/look at that dweeber on the plate/ I wonder if mom has any bagel bites left at the house," the pitcher thinks many things, none of which are concern for losing or me succeeding in any possible way. The smug pre-teen with  the ball winds up-- slow mo starts.
The perfect pitch barrels down the pipe and my eyes see nothing but glory. My bat starts a swing and I flex more muscles than I probably have to hit this ball, everything in my life has come down to this one moment..."Hit it! Hit it!" they say, "We need this to win the game!" they remind me at literally the least opportune time....
I missed. The ball pounds the back of the catcher's glove as more fear settles into the back of my mind. "What if we lose? This was all because of me. I'm such a loser." the thoughts run over and over in my head until the last pitch is thrown. I of course miss again and the game is over.

We lose.
But its more than just a "we", this loss was all on me. Everything leading up to my batting meant nothing and I single handedly destroyed this game. I am crushed and start to do what any other respectable boy in my position would--cry. Yeah yeah, it's funny when I think about it now but then, the weight of the whole team and my parents/friends/anyoneelsewhocame was on my back....I crumpled slowly together as a wad of paper ready to be thrown away.

"But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in your weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 2 Corinthians 12:9
Where was this when I was ready to implode from the weight of the world? Who cares if I lose a city league baseball game, it wasn't even the playoffs. Without failures, we would never see or have the successes. Without disappointment, there could be no joy! Its hard to see these things as a child but growing up has taught me more and more to trust in what the Lord has promised us (peace, eternal life, grace to name a few) and to forget the constant worry the world wants to burden us with.
"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalms 73:26
Be joyful and be content with failure because whether we like it or not, they will happen. I can't say I was happy about losing those games but it has helped me to see that every little thing doesn't have to consume you with worry and fear and grief. If we can learn to take each day a step at a time and pray to God for an all consuming peace then rec baseball will never be the same.

--Peace be with ya.

Liar jumps to shallow pool

So at what point do we realize that people lie? I know as a kid, you hear things from your friends, teachers and even parents such as the classic "Oh put your tongue on it, it won't shock you"(Speaking on the 9volt battery (EVIL)) but these things we take with an unperceived grain of naivety. As an adult, the adverse reaction occurs. 

Me on the phone with a friend: "Hey man(its a boy), whatcha up to later? Wanna hang out?"

The friend: "Ah I can't, I have so much studying to do! Maybe another time."

"He just doesn't want to hang with me or he has plans with someone better," your mind is the thing that takes us into the sullen pit of negativity. 

...Later you find out after hanging out on Facebook for an hour playing Candy Crush he decided to go play some mini golf with another friend. 

First off, 'cmon I love mini golf!!!

Second, the people in this world are going to let you down. It's a fact, we live in a fallible world where sin occurs...But we can't blame people for acting of the world. "For everyone has sinned, we all fall short of God's glorious standard" Romans 3:23. 

Everyone messes up, it's okay and lying is one of those things. We have to step back and say "Im gonna make a conscious effort not to lie and (insert sin) anymore" Until that day, we are not better than those who live a life full of sin and wrongdoing. But that can't be enough.

We aren't good enough to resist the temptation the devil leaves before us on a daily basis...That's why we have our not so secret weapon. 

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--His good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2.

Well good, pleasing and perfect sure beats stealing, killing and destroying. The devil wants us to conform, to fall in line with sin, but God wants for us so much more. He wants for us to love and be loved, spread His good news and and be at peace. 

Welp, that sounds pretty good to me--and that's no lie.

Constance machine

"O Lord, I call to You; come quickly to me. Hear my voice when I call to You" Psalms 141:1. Do you ever feel there's no one to save you? There isn't refuge and no way to make it to the end safely? 

"Jump! Jump!"
 This is way higher than it looked from the ground. I stand precariously perched upon a rock face 70 feet above the safe trenches of water below.
"C'mon, you're already up there now" the world pushes me closer to the edge. There is a strong but silent power that water holds. Floating in it you might not see it, but from 70 feet in the air you can't miss it. The security and constance that water holds is a point of refuge for some, but at this moment....well it's freaking me out.
"Are you sure I won't get hurt?" I yell with all semblance of pride gone now. Alright, just do it! Those people down there (way down there) (way way way)...what was I saying?
AAAHHHHHHHH! A push from behind takes me fast and by surprise. My heightened senses feel the wind as I travel through the air around 12 hours (give or take). BOOM. Yeah, I hit the water feet first somehow.
Underwater, don't breathe...feel the current, it takes all nerve and fear from me. "On Christ the solid rock I stand all other ground is sinking sand"...all other ground is 70 feet away now.
When the world tries to scare you into submission and shove you towards the deeds of the sinner, it may seem like the natural thing to do at first. Sure, I'll jump; everyone else is doing it. But we know the wages of the sinner is death but the gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus. We make mistakes, we jump off cliffs we shouldn't have to face, but God is constant. He will catch you when you fall, He is our refuge and when we call on Him, He will provide.
"I cry aloud to the Lord, I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy," Psalm 142:1. 
We can stumble through life and make it to the "unbeatable" hurdles life throws at us. There is a choice to be made: seek out the Lord, make His presence and peace a part of your life, or say how high when the world says jump...hopefully there is some water around.

waiting for patience

Wake up. It's dark outside, first problem right there. Get dressed take shower, other things you can do robotically by now. We make it to the lake and it hasn't hit 7 yet. The water begins to lighten as the sun peeks it head out from under its Earthly covers (I bet he doesn't get cold at night). We step into our boat and check the supplies: old rods, check, dirty worms, check, hopeful and excited attitudes, oh yeah!

The boat casts off for a morning of fishing and all around adventure, all the while my 8 year old body is brimming with unreal expectations and energy. The waiting game begins.

Cast. Reel. Reel. Reel. Repeat.

...30 minutes in, a bite! REEL REEL REEL REEL. "Taylor you cant reel the line that fast, the hook slips his lip." My dad says in infinite knowledge, opportunity wasted. With the grand total of 2 bites for the day and a small fish I couldn't tell you the name of I can say three things confidently.

1. I am not a fisherman nor will I ever willingly go back to play that dreadful waiting game.

2. No one should be allowed to get up before the sun does, that's just common courtesy. 

3. God has way more patience than me.

I get nothing but a nibble for one day and I want to throw in the towel, there is no part of me that will willingly test my patience in fishing again, but God can somehow watch as the beauty of the world He created Himself fall into sin and slowly perish. Why? How?

From the point of conception, Man has turned from God and sinned in an all but constant fashion. But God is a God OF patience, not a God who merely has patience. How else could He see us fail Him on a daily basis yet show us the unconditional love we never deserve. "But You, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness," Psalm 86:15. He sees the fish I search for and frustrate over, he sees my sin my struggles, all of the empty things I grow angry over and what does He do. HE loves us. 

What's so beautiful about the situation is that for Him it isn't even a choice. He created us out of love therefore as long as we exist He will do nothing but love us, DESPITE the mistakes we have made, are making, and will continue to make as we live in this world.

"Since God chose you to be the holy peoples He loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Make allowance for each other's faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others." Colossians 3:12-13.

If only the last line was true, where would we be today? Something to think about.