The mother love tactic

Tired. A hard day has befallen you and theres no bodybuilder in the world that could hold the enormous weights that are your eyelids. You know your at home and at one point you were sitting on the couch watching TV, but suddenly you open your eyes again and magic exists in our world! You are under the covers of your bed and there are thick rays of sunlight pouring into your window.
What does this mean?! Can I teleport, but only through an unconscious cognitive state? Are there others like me? I wonder if there's a school for gifted creatures such as myself to hone this ability.

Of course we all know this isn't true. People don't teleport (at least as far as I know). So at what point did I miss something....
Deep into the night, around 930, the hero strolls in unbeknownst to the world--Mom. She notices her child has been punched in the face by fatigue and has taken to hard slumber in his recourse. She goes in to swoop me up into her tender arms then oh so carefully takes me to the city of forgotten cares. The journey is arduous, requiring more than a minimal amount of physical and emotion energy but she pushes through with the sheer determination unseen by the still comatose child. Making her trip swiftly and effectively, she lays me down onto the cloud of relief and joy that is my bed and gently tucks me in. To end it all she whispers a quick prayer and leaves with a gentle kiss to my forehead.

A mother will go to enormous lengths to show her child love, even when he can't see it. In the same way, our Father shows us His love in everything we see and do, even when we don't realize he has a hand in it. Quite simply, "God is love," as it says in 1 John 4:8. Imagine how much our mother loves us (yes, it is A LOT) now imagine if she had to sacrifice as much as God did to show His love for us. "but God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us," Romans 5:8. He sacrificed His ONLY son to prove his love to us, we surely don't deserve that--not then and not now. We sin every day, we lead dirty lives full of lies, deceit, regret, pain and suffering but when its all said and done, God will always take us back to our room and tuck us in with a kiss to the forehead. "And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work," 2 Corinthians 9:8. We have everything we need in Christ, He is bigger than any problem we could face. That's awesome and we should take refuge in this! I'll leave you with this verse on Gods awesome power. Until next time, you stay classy world.
Romans 8:37-39 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Baby poops and the chlorinated monster frizz

-Whats that in the water!?!?!!
-Oh crap, Johnny you dropped your snickers in the water (says no one ever) Don't you just wish there was a happy medium with pool cleanliness. You have the 24/7 lifegaurd surveillance systems complete with free wifi, chocolate, massage therapists and wifi. The water will actually cleanse your body of all its toxins and realign your electrochemical balance causing your life expectancy. Harvested unicorn tears pump out of the jets and I swear I once saw an obese gentleman cannonball into the pool, came out with a six-pack (not referencing alcohol here). The price to get in is 9 billion Euros and only twelve people are allowed to swim in it per year...Then you have the community pool.

Full of the odd assortment of molded, once loved floaties this cess pool of cancer water slowly eats away at your kidneys. Where's the lifegaurd you ask? We're pretty sure thats him on the bottom of the deep end. Covered in roughly 12 children under the age of 7 per square foot you are sure to have a relaxing swim. The jets pump out the remainder of the oil from the BP gulf spill (tax dollars at work!). And yes, you may even witness your fair share of "snickers" bars....All in all, the community pool is hoppin, the frogs love it!

That happy medium does exist my friends, its the magical and dying breed of the private pool. Owned by the upper income family, this pool has everything you could ever need--water and no feces. The lifegaurd is a highly qualified window into the kitchen where a loving (and not sunburned) mother sits sipping on an ice cold sweet tea. I propose a new amendment to the already clustered Constitution: lets scrub our country of the community pool plague. We don't need more reason to take showers (once a week is enough people!).

To close this absurd post, I'll give you this nugget of American History* "It's time for the way we perceive this threat to change, we have to stop lollygagging and taking the lackadaisical road more travelled. We need to read more of The best time to wear a striped sweater and take those zombies out. Our literacy rate is at risk and we need more jobs for females in the work force, Am I right Miss South Carolina?...wheres my map" -Abraham Lincoln, 1941.

Peace out Boy Scouts.

perfectly imperfect

  Imagine this (Actually just look at the picture I am going to insert sometime before I hit the post button).  Your favorite bread, let's say pumpernickle because #yolo. Between the slices of goodness there is lettuce you have grown yourself in the backyard, a tomato from the upside down tomato plant out in the foyer (it just gets good sunlight in there ya know?), and fresh bacon from the pig farmer right down the road (where do you live anyways to have a pig farm...). This all sounds like it could be the perfect sandwich. The culmination of the best ingredients, your favorite things and the pure satisfaction of having done all this work yourself to achieve a slice of BLT heaven....

But you take a bite and realize something. The tomato just isn't as juicy as it looked when you hand plucked that joker. Upon further inspection you realize the lettuce has several brown spots and deadness covering its once beautiful flesh (how you failed to notice that one escapes me). To cap off your fastly plummeting sandwich, Jim the boar farmer has been found out by the game warden for using faulty and unsanitary equipment in the slaughter of his meat. Two bites ago you thought you were literally in hog heaven now before you know it you got one hand on the garbage lid, two slices of perfectly good pumpernickel wasted and heap ton of backdraft that has now stained your 3rd favorite shirt. How did this even happen, that sandwich was stinkin perfect.

But that's the thing about this world, and especially sandwiches...they aren't perfect and the things of this world are fading. Shoot we as humans aren't even perfect as much we like to think we are (ever noticed that blind spot in your eyes...no? yeah its because our impefect bodies have adapted to the imperfect surroundings of the imperfect world (duh)). But where we and the world are imperfect, we are also incomplete in God's creation. We serve a higher purpose and calling. We must strive to live our lives closer to how Christ lived. Psalm 18:30 "As for God, His way is perfect; The word of the LORD is proven; He is a shield to all who trust in Him."
 We are temporary and failing but God is good and perfect (waay better than that sandwich). The sandwich seemed good at first, but you take another look and its fragmented to the point of inedibility. The same is true for us, we seem good on the outside but from the inside we are dirty and sinful not deserving of what God has given us--His own son. "For God so loved the world, that He gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life." John 3:16. 

I think these guys got it right in Isaiah when they said, "And they were calling to one another: Holy, holy, holy is the Lord Almighty; the whole earth is full of His glory." Next time you bite into a sandwich, just remember how awesome God is. 

Anyways, good sandwiches and good times for all. Until next time, you stay classy.

Roadblocks on the way to nowhere.

 Driving down the road you are bound to see many things. On a normal day there could be a man speeding in his oversized F4million with a bad case of the road rage, if you are near the hospital you might see something such as an ambulance screaming bloody murder as it flies down the track or a helicopter buzzing away towards another potentially fatal motorcycle accident in the next town. But nothing compares to the monstrosity and ill necessity of a road block. No matter where you might have been going, no matter how important it may have seemed to you, the instant you are presented with the reality of having to wait in this audacious line and incessant traffic you feel as if the whole world is falling in around you and everyone is out to get you.

It turns from having to get milk at the store for cereal to HOLY MAMA MY CHILDREN WILL STARVE....and theres nothing you can do to save them or speed up the process. So what happens?

...you wait. and as the line gets shorter your frustration is mounting, "there is no way this should be taking 900 years" you say in an effort to calm yourself with sarcasm (that never works by the way).
But finally, your despair sees its last as you crest the front of the line and you can carry on to....what did I need to do again?

Somewhere along the road of frustration and grief, the point is lost on you of your true purpose. What can this say about all of your previous ranting and steaming as your whole day has been ruined over this "minor" grievance?

In Romans 8, Paul says, "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." When you see it this way, all frustration seems to crumble right? Well no, not really. But thats okay because he goes on to say, "For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God."

So we get frustrated. We're human and that is natural because we are but flesh that is decaying every day. This is our present suffering-- life, and it can be unbearable at times. I know sometimes I want to slam my head into that wheel and honk my frustrations away at all the cars facing all the same problems  as me. God knows about road blocks, He knows our sufferings and transgressions and He is our means of getting through it all. Without the bad times, there would be no good and the glory revealed to us will be so sweet one day!

Anyways, this has gotten way too long so Im gonna stop.

Peace out.

Where in the world is Carmen San Diego.

 I can tell you for certain she is not in San Diego. Wouldn't that be a little too obvious? But then again, the show has since been canned making me think the writing was sub-par. Who knows, I bet was she was in the city meaning "Whale V@$^*@" the whole time.

Hindsight, I wish I hadn't made that possibly dirty Anchorman reference just because that's not what I'm about bro....What am I about you ask? Great, unplanned question stranger I haven't met! (drops 20 discreetly into hand during casual shake)

At the risk of making this sound like a dating profile I am all about God (oh he's one of those..) If by just a dude that likes to love on others and share Christ's love to others then darn tootin I'm one of those.  I super love everything music oriented. I am in multiple choirs at Auburn currently and play drums for a worship band weekly. But what really tickles my fancy is making others smile. I would like to think I am funny person and bringing laughter and smiles to people is what I cherish most.

Maybe Ill wrap up this first blog post but I will leave everyone with 2 things:

1. go check out the blog I tried to start in High School, it fell through rather quickly but dang I was one weird kid.

2. A little verse for the day. "Yet when I surveyed all I had done and what I had toiled to achieve, Everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind. Nothing was gained under the sun." Eccl 2:11 This verse has meant a lot to me because it humbles everything I think that is important and helps me to refocus on what God has planned for me.

Everyone stay beautiful and I hope we see each other soon. You stay classy world.

The formalitative opression of common courtesy.

          The golden years...citizens all willing to die for their country valiantly. Industry boomed with the hard work of a nation. They came back from WW1 and gave us "the baby boom". But that all seems innocent and charming.

What people fail to realize is the slowly mutating infection they've also implanted right into the heads of all countrymen ever since their glory days. If you read the title of this post and couldnt figure it out I would say stop reading this now because frankly, youre an imbecile (jk mom, love ya!) buut youve read this far so obviously you have shown some interest therefore i will fill you in on this pandemic that has crept through the masses.

        Ill set it up for you...common greeting
"hey, how are you" they say roboticlly.
"Im doing fine, how are you?" with a response as dull as the question.

This is normal. What has been acheived by this "conversation"...Ill answer that (because it was rhetorical anyways) nothing was said of any value.
But thats okay because you were just being polite...aha! the real meaning of my minful rants has sprung loose.

Is being polite the best policy? It sure isnt doing anyone any favors. It is forced expressions that merely fill space where unimaginative people feel they carry meaning.
I urge you to break this (yes im saying it) oppressive mold that being polite brings

America is about the individual, not about those stupid mad libs games that have no purpose and change very little from person to person. This is how a conversation should look:

"Johnny,I think your girlfriend is creepy" he says with a loud vivacity not seen in many years (thanks old people)
"Dude, that's your opinion but Helen is vuluptuous and cool in every way so you can back up." says the now more confident attractive American citizen.

Now thats just passing in the hall, imagine how much more fullfilling your life would be with these fruitful encounters happening often. Its the beginning of a new era, should we choose to embrace the individual aspect of life America is so fond of.

New times are coming and Im excited...dont be alarmed by the lack of said "courtesy" because it doesnt mean the level of rudeness shall increase. Nay, rudeness will become a thing of the past. People will have the capability to speak their minds and precious hearts with impunity. A stronger, free-er(?), more competant America will emerge.

Long live the new age of free speech that can benfit all, goodbye to the courtesy talk that slows down world production and therefore meaningful life.

Oh, and maybe golf should be banned...so frustrating! Anyways, peace out.

The beginnings of a beautiful, or somewhat melancholy friendship.

Alright, well this is my first post ever and I feel already expectations to be the best blogger known on the face of the internet. Now thinking how ridiculous this sounds Ill shoot for lower things, like the lottery or possibly a banana shake. This blog was started mainly because I like to write but also from some now considered positive peer pressure (shout out to britney freeman woot woot). Ive made the name oddly specific but theres actually no telling what I could write about.
       Most importantly Id like to adress the pressing issue behind the Power Rangers, and I mean any of their 400 series. My mom wouldnt let me watch it as a kid and now being 17 I have discovered the reason. (If you believe in the magic i advise you to leave now). First off, they get no preparation for battle and the villians always know where they are. You would think they could invest in some GPS technology, or just look out the window for that matter seeing as theyre 100 feet tall. Okay so they get there in the normally, yet not suprising, japanese style street garb and theyre all white...save for the black ranger (racism anyone?). The monster will then get around 2 or 3 good licks on them (avarage taken from the archive in my head) before the rangers decide its time to step up their game. Here's where the problem lies.
       Morphin time! This is where the magic happens. Here we begin the 3-5 min graphic sequence of them changing into their super tight fitting garments. All the while, Im not quite sure what the bad monsters could be doing. i forsee 3 possible options.

1. Theyre suspended in time, frozen by the mystical powers of the special ranger equipment.

2. Caught in a mixture of shock and fear the baddies are immobilized, not under any spell but only caught in the ridiculousness of the moment.

3. Every evil character has also secretly joined the tri-county knitting society. Written in bold print across every building its written, "Theres never a bad time to advance your psassion!". Taking this phrase to heart, as they should, they begin designs on intricate patterns defying all progress made before given the obscene amount of time they have.

        And dont even get me started on those freaking megazords! Requiring 10 minutes of construction since they traverse the world. Secretly hidden from everyone, they graciously jump out of their nooks and crannies to follow the call into adventure!

        You know what, Im done with the tirade of Japanese cheese they call television. Ive moved onto better things making much more sense. Yes, Im referring to LOST and although the seasons have come to a close Id like to briefly sum up the main point presented.

Time is not real, neither are people.


Anyways, hope you enjoyed it and if you didnt you can find somewhere else to read creep!
Peace out and War Eagle!!!